How to Manage Social Anxiety: 10 Practical Ways to Feel More Comfortable Around People
27 OCTOBER 2026
Previously, we talked about the difference between social anxiety disorder and introversion. Now let’s look at how to manage social anxiety and make everyday social situations feel a little easier.
For someone with social anxiety, even a simple conversation can feel like a test. You may find yourself thinking about what to say, how you sound, whether you’re looking nervous, and what the other person might be thinking. By the time the conversation is over, you can feel mentally exhausted.
There are three ways of changing how you think about social situations, along with seven practical techniques that may help. Everyone experiences anxiety differently, so take what feels useful to you and work at your own pace.
The three ways of changing your thinking are developing a more positive view of yourself, realising that things don’t necessarily have to go wrong, and questioning anxious predictions about what might happen.
1. Develop a More Positive View of Yourself
Many people with social anxiety worry that saying the wrong thing or behaving awkwardly will cause others to form a negative impression of them. They may even believe that once someone has judged them, that impression can never be changed.
As a result, an ordinary conversation can become an exhausting mental exercise.
While speaking, you may be thinking about what you just said, how you sounded, what the other person thinks of you, whether you look nervous, and what you should say next. Instead of simply having a conversation, you’re constantly monitoring yourself.
One helpful first step is to develop a kinder and more realistic view of yourself.
Remind yourself that this is an ordinary conversation, not a public-speaking competition. The person you’re talking to isn’t a judge sitting across from you with a scorecard. They are simply another person having a conversation.
In most everyday situations, people aren’t sitting there “scoring” your words or behaviour.
Even if you say something awkward, that doesn’t automatically mean you’ve made a terrible impression. People are often much more understanding of small mistakes than social anxiety makes you believe.
You don’t have to perform perfectly.
Take a breath. Say what you want to say. Let the conversation unfold without constantly checking whether you’re doing everything right.
2. Things Don’t Necessarily Have to Go Wrong
Social anxiety can make ordinary signs of nervousness feel far more serious than they really are.
You might become tense, blush, sweat, or start shaking, then immediately assume that everyone has noticed and is going to laugh at you.
But they may not have noticed at all.
And even if they have, they may simply assume you’re nervous. They might not think much about it and carry on with the conversation.
If someone asks whether you’re okay, they may be showing concern rather than making fun of you. After all, everyone gets nervous sometimes, including people who seem confident on the outside. Some people are also naturally more sensitive to their surroundings, emotions, or the reactions of others, although being highly sensitive is not the same as having social anxiety.
If you’d like to learn more about the traits associated with high sensitivity, you can read about the traits commonly associated with highly sensitive people.
When you notice yourself becoming overly focused on how you look or sound, try shifting some of your attention outward. Listen to what the other person is saying. Notice what’s happening around you. Give yourself something to focus on besides your own nervousness.
There is another anxious thought that can be particularly powerful:
“If I make a mistake, my life is over.”
Of course, it isn’t.
Nobody gets through life without saying the wrong thing, stumbling over their words, or having an awkward moment. It can feel uncomfortable at the time, but that doesn’t mean it will have the lasting consequences your anxiety predicts.
In fact, other people may forget about the incident much sooner than you do.
Think about it this way. If someone accidentally knocked over a glass in a restaurant, you probably wouldn’t look at them and think, “What a useless person.”
You’d probably think, “It was an accident,” and carry on with your evening.
Try offering yourself that same understanding.
An awkward moment is just an awkward moment. It doesn’t define who you are, destroy your relationships, or ruin your life.
3. Stop Treating Anxious Predictions as Facts
People with social anxiety can spend a great deal of time trying to predict what will happen in social situations.
Thinking ahead can sometimes be useful, but anxiety creates a problem when predictions start to feel like facts.
The truth is, we can’t know exactly what someone else is thinking or what will happen next. Unless you have some kind of superpower, you can’t read another person’s mind!
Yet anxiety can turn tiny, ordinary events into supposed clues.
For example, someone nearby might clear their throat, and you immediately think:
“Are they trying to hint at something?”
“Are they criticising me?”
But it may have absolutely nothing to do with you. They might simply have something stuck in their throat.
The same thing can happen when you’re walking down the street. Someone looks in your direction, and suddenly your mind starts searching for an explanation:
“Do I walk strangely?”
“Is there something wrong with me or my clothes?”
But there could be countless other explanations. Perhaps they were simply looking around. Maybe they noticed you looking at them. Perhaps they were distracted by something else entirely.
The important thing to remember is that social anxiety can make you overestimate how much other people are noticing and evaluating you.
That doesn’t mean nobody ever notices you. Of course people notice one another. But most people are also busy thinking about their own lives, conversations, problems, plans, and responsibilities.
They have their own worries to carry.
Sometimes, simply recognising how much social expectations influence us can help us realise when we’re giving other people’s opinions more power than they deserve. You can read more about the psychological triggers behind our choices.
So when you catch yourself assuming that everyone is watching or judging you, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
“Do I actually know this is true, or is my anxiety filling in the blanks?”
That small question can create some distance between what you fear and what is actually happening.
Why would everyone be watching you all the time? Unless you happen to be a celebrity or public figure, that’s a different story!
The more you learn to question these automatic predictions instead of immediately believing them, the less threatening social situations may begin to feel.
So those are the three ways of changing how you think about social situations:
- Develop a more positive view of yourself.
- Remember that things don’t necessarily have to go wrong.
- Stop treating anxious predictions as facts.
But changing the way you think is only part of the process.
Next, let’s look at seven practical techniques that can help you feel more comfortable in social situations.
7 Practical Tips for Managing Social Anxiety
Changing the way you think about social situations is one part of the process. The next step is putting those ideas into practice.
You don’t have to become a completely different person or suddenly feel confident in every social situation. Small changes can be enough to begin with. Here are seven practical techniques you can try.
1. Focus on the Conversation
We often become more nervous when too much of our attention is turned inward:
How do I look? Do I sound nervous? Am I saying the right thing? What does this person think of me?
The more closely you monitor yourself, the harder it can become to simply have a conversation.
Instead of thinking, “I’m really nervous,” try asking yourself, “What am I trying to communicate?”
Imagine telling someone a story while constantly checking how you look, worrying about whether you sound intelligent, and trying to make every sentence perfect.
Now imagine telling the same story while concentrating on what you’re saying and listening to the other person.
Which feels easier?
For many people, shifting their attention away from self-monitoring and back toward the conversation can make social situations feel more manageable.
You probably won’t be able to do this perfectly at first. That’s okay. It takes practice.
Start with people you already feel comfortable around, then gradually try it in situations that make you more nervous.
2. Put a Number on Your Anxiety
Fear can feel vague and overwhelming when it’s simply sitting in your mind. One way to make it more manageable is to give different social situations an anxiety rating, perhaps from 1 to 10.
For example:
- Talking with your parents: ⭐
- Saying hello to a classmate: ⭐⭐⭐
- Talking to a shop assistant: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Going to a party or group activity: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Giving a presentation: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- Public speaking or performing on stage: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
You can then see more clearly which situations feel manageable and which feel more like “boss-level” challenges.
Rather than starting with the hardest situation on your list, begin somewhere in the middle or toward the easier end. Practise there, then gradually work your way toward more difficult situations.
This is the basic idea behind gradual exposure, which is often used as part of psychological treatment for anxiety.
The goal isn’t to wait until you feel completely free of anxiety before doing something. It’s to learn, little by little, that you can experience discomfort and still cope with it.
3. Take Advantage of Unexpected Opportunities
People with social anxiety may naturally avoid situations that make them uncomfortable. Avoidance can bring an immediate sense of relief, but it can also keep the fear going.
The cycle can look something like this:
You avoid the situation → you feel temporary relief → the fear remains → the next situation feels just as difficult.
So when a manageable social opportunity unexpectedly comes along, consider using it as a chance to practise rather than automatically turning it down.
Perhaps someone invites you for coffee. Maybe you have an opportunity to join a small group conversation. Or you find yourself talking to someone you don’t know very well.
You don’t have to throw yourself into the most frightening situation you can imagine.
Choose something challenging but manageable, give yourself a chance to experience it, and notice what happens.
Each time you face a situation instead of automatically avoiding it, you give yourself another opportunity to learn that you can cope.
4. If You Feel Overwhelmed, Take a Moment
Sometimes a conversation suddenly moves in a direction you weren’t expecting. You may not understand the question, think of an answer, or know what to say next.
When that happens, don’t assume you need to produce the perfect response immediately.
It’s perfectly acceptable to pause, think, or ask someone to clarify what they mean.
You can simply say:
“Let me think about that for a moment.”
Or:
“That’s an interesting question. Let me think.”
If you don’t know something, you can say:
“I’m not sure, but I can look into it.”
If the conversation becomes uncomfortable, you can always move toward a lighter or more familiar subject.
A brief pause isn’t a failure. Sometimes giving yourself permission to slow down is enough to take some of the pressure away.
5. Prepare in Advance
What if you’re becoming more comfortable talking to people but still worry about running out of things to say?
A little preparation can help.
Before attending a party, gathering, or other social event, think of a few topics you could bring up. They might include recent news, films, travel, hobbies, pets, technology, or interests you share with friends and colleagues.
You don’t need to memorise a script or plan an entire conversation.
Just keep a few ideas in your “back pocket.”
And remember, a conversation isn’t a one-person performance.
You don’t have to keep coming up with interesting things to say. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. Pick up on something the other person mentions and let the conversation develop from there.
Sometimes the easiest conversation is the one you don’t try too hard to control.
6. Let the Other Person Know, If You Feel Comfortable
If you trust the person you’re talking to, you may find it helpful to tell them that you tend to get nervous in social situations.
For example:
“I’m a little nervous in social situations, especially when I’m meeting someone for the first time.”
Being open about it can sometimes reduce the pressure of trying to hide your nervousness. If the conversation becomes awkward or you suddenly don’t know what to say, the other person already has some context.
You could even add:
“I’m usually fine once I get to know someone.”
Of course, you don’t have to tell everyone about your anxiety. It’s a personal choice, and you should only share it when you feel comfortable doing so.
But with someone you trust, a little honesty can sometimes make a conversation feel easier than trying to hide every sign of nervousness.
7. Try Relaxation and Breathing Exercises
When you’re tense or anxious, taking a few slow, comfortable breaths can give you a moment to settle yourself.
Try breathing slowly rather than taking very large or rapid breaths. Over-breathing can sometimes cause dizziness, tingling, or light-headedness, which may make anxiety feel worse.
Before giving a presentation or entering a social situation, spend a few minutes breathing slowly and allowing your body to relax.
The goal isn’t to force yourself to become completely calm. It’s simply to give yourself a moment to pause, settle your body, and feel a little more prepared.
If breathing exercises don’t suit you, that’s okay. You might prefer another simple relaxation technique, such as gently releasing tense muscles or taking a short walk.
The important thing is to use these techniques as support for facing social situations, rather than as another reason to avoid them.
You don’t need to master all seven techniques at once. Pick one that feels realistic, practise it regularly, and see what happens. Once it becomes more familiar, you can try another.
Summary
So, those are the three ways of changing your thinking and seven practical techniques for managing social anxiety. Here’s a quick recap:
- Develop a More Positive View of Yourself: Remember that an ordinary conversation isn’t a performance. Don’t assume everyone is watching or judging you.
- Things Don’t Necessarily Have to Go Wrong: An awkward moment or small mistake may feel uncomfortable, but it doesn’t define you or ruin your life.
- Stop Treating Anxious Predictions as Facts: Don’t automatically assume you know what other people are thinking. Anxiety can make guesses feel like facts when they aren’t.
- Focus on the Conversation: Shift your attention away from how you’re performing and toward what you’re trying to communicate and what the other person is saying.
- Put a Number on Your Anxiety: Rate different situations by difficulty and, where appropriate, gradually work from easier situations toward more challenging ones.
- Take Advantage of Unexpected Opportunities: When a manageable social opportunity comes along, use it as a chance to practise rather than automatically avoiding it.
- If You Feel Overwhelmed, Take a Moment: Pause, breathe, and give yourself time to collect your thoughts. You don’t need to produce the perfect response immediately.
- Prepare in Advance: Keep a few conversation topics or shared interests in mind before attending a social gathering.
- Let the Other Person Know if You Feel Comfortable: Telling someone you tend to get nervous socially may reduce some of the pressure, particularly with people you trust.
- Try Relaxation and Breathing Exercises: Use slow, comfortable breathing or another relaxation technique to help settle your body before or during a stressful situation.
These techniques require repeated practice. You probably won’t feel completely comfortable after trying them once or twice, and that’s perfectly normal.
The aim isn’t to make anxiety disappear overnight. It’s to gradually change how you respond to social situations and discover that you can handle moments that once felt overwhelming.
When More Support May Help
If social anxiety is significantly affecting your relationships, work, education, or everyday life, it may be worth speaking with a qualified healthcare professional.
Established treatments for social anxiety disorder include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and medication. CBT is a well-established psychological treatment and can be very effective for many people. Medication can also help some people, and treatment may involve CBT, medication, or a combination of the two.
There isn’t one approach that works for everyone, so discussing your options with a qualified healthcare professional can help you decide what is appropriate for you.
And remember, the goal isn’t to turn you into an extremely outgoing person.
You don’t have to become the most talkative person in the room.
The goal is simply to have more freedom in your choices, rather than allowing anxiety to decide which conversations you have, which places you visit, or which people you spend time with.
Make Room for Real Conversations
There’s another point worth considering.
The internet and digital communication have changed the way we interact. For some people, spending more time communicating through screens may mean fewer opportunities for spontaneous face-to-face conversations and everyday social interaction.
That doesn’t mean the internet causes social anxiety, and online communication certainly isn’t a bad thing. For many people, it’s an important way to stay connected.
But if you notice that most of your social interaction happens through a screen, it may be worth creating a few more opportunities to meet people in person.
It doesn’t have to be a crowded party or a large social event.
Meet a friend for coffee.
Go for a walk.
Sit somewhere and talk for a while.
Sometimes, that’s enough.
There’s also nothing wrong with enjoying time alone when you genuinely prefer it. The important distinction is whether you’re choosing solitude because you enjoy your own company, or avoiding people because anxiety makes social situations feel threatening.
If you enjoy spending time alone, you may also find it interesting to explore why some people choose solitude.
People Also Ask
Frequently Asked Questions About Social Anxiety
What is the best way to manage social anxiety?
The best way to manage social anxiety depends on the individual. Helpful approaches can include gradually facing social situations, challenging anxious thoughts, focusing on conversations rather than self-monitoring, and practising relaxation techniques. If social anxiety is significantly affecting daily life, professional support may also help.
How can I feel less nervous around people?
Start with manageable social situations rather than forcing yourself into situations that feel overwhelming. Focus your attention on the conversation, listen to the other person, and remind yourself that you don’t have to perform perfectly. With regular practice, social situations may gradually feel more comfortable.
Can social anxiety be overcome?
Social anxiety can often be managed effectively, although the goal does not necessarily have to be eliminating every anxious feeling. Gradual exposure, psychological treatment such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and other appropriate treatments can help people become more comfortable in social situations.
How do I stop worrying about what other people think of me?
You cannot know exactly what another person is thinking, so try not to treat anxious predictions as facts. When you catch yourself assuming that someone is judging you, ask, u0022Do I actually know this is true, or is my anxiety filling in the blanks?u0022 Then bring your attention back to the conversation or situation around you.
What helps with social anxiety in social situations?
Several techniques may help, including focusing on the conversation, preparing a few topics in advance, taking a moment when you feel overwhelmed, gradually facing manageable social situations, and using slow, comfortable breathing. The most useful approach will vary from person to person.
When should I seek help for social anxiety?
Consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional if social anxiety is significantly affecting your relationships, work, education, or everyday life. Treatments can include cognitive behavioural therapy, medication, or a combination of approaches, depending on your individual circumstances.
